-Refuse to die
-Train like a Marine, SAS, Seal, Spetsnaz, and/or SWAT (preferably also learn from every special operations military divisions or how they're called)
->the 100-100-30-50 test is the simplest test for you to see if you're fit enough or not
-100 push-ups with full gear&equipment (weight)
-100 squads with 2x the weight of the full gear&equipment
-30 pull-ups with full gear&equipment
-50km ran in 5km sequences with full gear&equipment (15min breaks between the 5km sequences)
-Practice for a fortnight with only a bayonet, compass, one MRE, 1L of water with extra water purification tablets and other miscelaneous tools that you'd have in your cargo-pants as well as a messenger bag (review 100 Deadly Skills No.002 for references; remember, just a bayonet, no guns)
-Practice bush-craft and exercise your skills at improvised tools (such as crossbows/bows, spears and similar; wood and trash (i.e. metal or plastic) could be also used)

Remember, this is but a simple idea of how one should do it, not a full tutorial.

P37479 - learn to talk with Bierwurst

P37479
larping really is larping

Sadly military knowledge is overhyped. They're only taught to survive with the idea that there will be a search party out to find them. There won't be a search party looking for you. The other thing is that their general practices revolve around the existence of a logistics network supporting them, which you won't have. You won't be able to get new mags after leaving yours behind, and you won't get new ammo either. There will be no radio support. Etc.

For example, snipers don't make any sense outside the military, there won't be drop-off and extraction, and staying up for a very long time just guarantees you will be asleep and helpless for longer. Imitating the military can cause you to die rather than survive if you're not smart about what to imitate.

Finally, military folks are indoctrinated to look down on non-military. In their mind, you are not outside their hierarchy, you are beneath it. Knowing this, it's just not worth it to have some 89 IQ boomer whose rank was PFC bossing me around like he's my commanding officer because he cleaned toilets in the army while I worked a high-IQ job.

Learn to:
- fish, fillet a fish, cook fish on an open fire
- trap animals, skin animals, butcher animals, cook meat on an open fire
- build a wilderness shelter
- identify trees with edible fruit
- identify medicinal plants and fungus
- process animal skins into useful furs, make warm clothing from furs

I can probably improvise a shelter, and improve my process as I build more. I'll be learning to fish this summer!

P37479
>learn from every special operations military divisions
You sure that's a good idea?

P37504
Dude this is good rant and true. The military and police only want low IQ as [bold: order followers].

P37507
Basically survial skills and cardio are more worth it then strength. You see these people who are ripped but have no cardio endurance and think they are *ready* to fight a civil war.

P37508
funny and its big sad. Imagine being this pozzed. RIP WW2 vets as they were and are less pussies then these new *middle east* ones.

P37479
12of7 larping again lol do some cardio faggot

P37504
true, military survival stuff is based on the idea of there being a search party and/or base and/or logistics that are brought by others; if you'd want to come close to this, you'd need robots (requires high IQ, a lot of time and a lot of materials) to help you with this, tho it'd be smarter if you'd just send the robots to do the dirty job while you're at base, drinking some gin and awaiting for the robots to come back with food/ammo/whatnot (the simplest hunting air unmanned vehicle would be a miniature AC-130 Spooky with an rpk/mg42/mg3/m2/m249 and an automatic grenade launcher as you'd be able to stick 1/2 guns and a grenade launcher to a very simplistically made drone and boom, you've got a hunting drone; make a transport heli, not that hard to do eighter; remember, these things take a fuckton of knowlege, IQ, time and materials to make, one should try and make those only when he's got everything he needs)

snipers do make sense only with their skills, not their role, as sniper skills are recommended when engaging with anyone and anything (the longer the range AND the more precise you are, the better)

and yes, military folks are quite retarded if they don't see the world as it truly is (only <5000 of them see it as it is)

P37507
very inded
>I can probably improvise a shelter
shelters are simple enough to do, you just need a long sturdy piece of wood that you'd rest on a tree, cover both/one side with sticks and moss (in a tent shape of some sorts) and boom, you've got a simplistic shelter that will protect you from at least 95% of the rain falling down on your position

P37508
>You sure that's a good idea?
forgot to mention before 1995; after 1995, only from retired spec-ops or from based countries (from balkans and the communist block) up to 2007

P37513
agreed

anyone should be able to do all the things on that list unless you're a literal tub who last exercised during their phys ed in 2003. prepping wouldn't help you survive a supply chain collapse (imo most likely collapse scenario). best thing you can do is surround yourself with like minded people and homestead.

P37528
>surround yourself with like minded people
ha, how stupid of me, why wouldn't I do that?
[bold:because that is equivalent to finding an unicorn in a pile of shit, basically impossible]

P37528
P37531
>surround yourself with like minded people
This is the S-tier of things that are easier said than done.
The only way you can realistically do this is if you are morally bankrupt like most of society and believe the same collection of lies that they do. And, in that case, you'll have community, but of what quality?

Some of us just never get the choice to be a follower. You can be a lone wolf, or a pack leader. In fact, those aren't alternatives, those are stages: first you're a lone wolf, then you're the leader of the pack you assemble.

P37479
oh hey i have been doing all of that in cdda for the past 2 weeks too
hows your run going?
im gonna post abt mine later

P37723
post your:
>diet
>weight
>how long your run

P37733
>diet
now its p much only milk
i used to eat meat and fats, but hunting is too much work
and there was this diary farm that was mostly untouched by the apocalypse
it had a bunch of cows and cattle fodder lying around, so i used it to tame the cows
it also had a truck that was in almost perfect working condition, except for a draining battery, but that was easy enough to fix
there were some stacks of hay which i disassembled to get long cordage ropes and i used them to load the cows inside the truck and bring them back home
i also deconstructed the fences of the farm and brought the materials back so i could build a fence to keep the cows from wandering off
yea, i trooned out and started using the construction menu unironically
its not so bad, its actually kinda comfy being the apocalyptic bob the builder
also having cows that produce more milk than i can consume is a lot more comfy than going out to hunt
i even gave all of them cutesy names
>weight
when i had the carnivore diet i was overweight, prolly due to eating so much fat, which is very calorie dense
but now with milk, my weight has stabilized at normal bc every unit of milk is 0.25L and is only like 150 cals, while my stomach can only take 1.5L at a time
so that kinda forces me not to overeat
but i also need to be careful not to waste the milk bc raw milk spoils in like 12 hours and i dont wanna bother with heating it to make it last 24h
so when i milk a cow, i use a gallon jug bc thats about the amount of milk i can reasonably drink before it expires
well, i can drink more in 12h, but then i can just get more milk without risking it spoiling
itd actually be p cool if the devs allowed you to drink straight off the cows tits lmfao
>how long your run
a little over 2 months now
its currently in the middle of summer
good thing the devs fixed the warmth system and now i actually sweat when it gets hot, instead of just getting -50% heat slowdown
so i can exist with light clothes
anyway i have decided to make a gas station my home bc it has a comfortable distance from a city
although i might consider moving bc the city is kinda small
but its also close to a hub01 base, so im gonna finish their quests first
i already found and recruited another survivor, but hes p useless, so i gave him guard duty and left him in the base
btw i found out that he can help with mechanic jobs, so i dont need to go through the autism of making a lifting vehicle, i can just have him help me lift heavy stuff
but yea, by now i have developed my skills to a great degree
my combat skills not so much, due to a lack of books and resources, but it gets the job done well enough
i killed a firefighter zombie which dropped a || fire axe, and hot diggedy damn, this fucker does a lotta damage
i massacred an entire convoy of zombie soldiers with it
it was a quest from the hub01
there were also a few armored zombies that i couldnt damage no matter what even with a gun, so i just lured them into the forest and lost them
my current quest is venturing inside a collapsed tower full of abominations to retrieve some mcguffin
i have already cleared the entire surface in a single morning using my trusty axe
the only thing those fuckers had going for them was the toxic gas, but the hub sold me protective equipment which completely nullifies that lmfao
and the zombies soldiers have full gas masks which are better than the half gas masks the hub gave me
the only reason i didnt finish the quest right then and there was bc i needed a way to climb down that wouldnt get me killed by the horrors bellow
meaning i needed to make a grappling hook
so i had to go through blacksmithing cock and ball torture to set up my workshop
i think that was like a full month ago lmfao
i kinda forgot about the mission and started focusing the crafting and building
which is when i got the cows and the fence and everything
but yea i think its about time i went back there since i already have the hook and everything i need to rip and tear those demons
i even made a steel spear
its a bit weaker than the axe, but it has the added advantage of reach attacks, so its my main weapon now
oh yea and i made bows and arrows bc i found a book on archery
it even allowed me to train archery to lvl 5 and train the expert archery form proficiency, which ig greatly improves it
and even with a long bow, archery still fucking sucks
it takes forever to aim, and the damage is SHIT
you literally need a critical to do anything
bc while the regular damage is like 15, it has a 10x crit multiplier
so yea, i could in theory obliterate almost anything with a single shot, but itd need to be a lucky shot
oh and btw, for some reason portal storms are super fucking common now
on the previous version, i never encountered one EVER
but now in just 2 months, i already went through 3 of them
i wont complain since the hub gave me a tool to analyze these storms and they pay me for the data lol
but they sure are annoying
at least i can get a buff for a few days by exploring another dimension, which is p easy to do
yea ig thats it for now
i wanna find a library or book store with hopefully a book on historical weapons so i can craft REAL melee
ah wait, i just remembered i killed one giant worm and it gave me 'troglobyte sample'
same for a meat cocoon which gave 'spider sample'
ig they overhauled the mutation creation system, so you actually need specialized items to create mutagens now
and remember the truck i stole?
i modified it into an electric truck that runs on solar power already
so i have solved the electricity problem
hey, apparently you can actually recreate powergrids in houses now
but i havent figured that out yet

^Nice day to igg out and dump schizophrenic garbage?
ig ig ig etc

>diet consisting solely of raw milk
you'd die from diarrhea IRL
but that's the best way to solve hunger issues in this game
>the devs fixed the warmth system
THE DEVS DID FUCKING WHAT
they are balancing the game to make it realistic AND playable?
wtf bullshit you are lying
>but its also close to a hub01 base, so im gonna finish their quests first
you can also just break inside and steal their shit
they are heavily armed with guns tho
just throw around a few smoke bombs while wielding your shotgun while thermal googles are strapped to your head
>my current quest is venturing inside a collapsed tower full of abominations to retrieve some mcguffin
don't forget a gas mask
and never use more than a half of your cartridges
well that obvious
>i needed to make a grappling hook
>so i had to go through blacksmithing cock and ball torture to set up my workshop
you can steal those things from hunting/sport shops
>oh and btw, for some reason portal storms are super fucking common now
i skidoodled right when this shit was added to experimental
dunno how fucky it is
can you describe?
some fag was shilling makeshift magical suits and weapons that would allow you to go through walls or some other bullshit while under portal storms
idk sounds cringe and fun but rather impractical
>apparently you can actually recreate powergrids in houses now
BN added this like a year ago
lmao never thought that DDA would need to catch up with BNs additions lmfao

How much [bold: does] it cost to have someone, ahem ahem in the Australasia region? There are so many scammers, though.

>you'd die from diarrhea IRL
nah i drink it while its hot
>but that's the best way to solve hunger issues in this game
yea lol the cows dont even have to eat lmfao
i thought itd be like rimworld where you need to at least give them pasture but nope
their milk tank just resets to 10L every 3 days or so
good thing nobody but me actually needs to eat in this game lmfao
>wtf bullshit you are lying
dont worry, they ruined the welding system to compensate
now you cant just weld cars using the atmosphere anymore, you need to craft welding rods/wires and use pieces of metal to repair
and there is a distinction between regular welding and aluminum welding
so good luck fixing engines that need both
also you need to actually build things now
the training dummy needed to be places using the construction menu, for example
also, you can use a spinning wheel to speed up string/rope making
but the wheel is a building
and it doesnt say anywhere that its a building
literally only yesterday i found the spinning wheel on the construction menu while looking for something else
i thought it was something that needed to be crafted normally but required a book since everything requires books now
so yea, now i gotta check for stuff on TWO completely separate menus bc the devs are faggots
it could at least list the spinning wheel under something like 'required buildings' instead of simply tools
>just throw around a few smoke bombs while wielding your shotgun while thermal googles are strapped to your head
oh yea i actually found thermal googles on a soldier lol just need to clean it up
ig i need a gasmask to walk inside the smoke
good thing they gave me a half mask which only covers the mouth, so i can wear any goggles lmao
do they have anything worth the trouble at least?
like mutagens or CBMs?
this city im in is so small it doesnt even have an electronic store with CBMs to steal
>you can steal those things from hunting/sport shops
lol im not a nigger
im a white man
i make my own shit
and only steal what i cant make myself
>can you describe?
its kinda meh for the most part
a bunch of things from other realities start to spawn, but afaik they dont do much
some give you mood debuffs bc they dont make any sense
like the 'impossible shape' which gives you a debuff that makes you have nightmares for like a week
and there is the 'swarm structure' which spawns a bunch of blade swarms when you get too close and they attack you
except they dont deal real damage, just a lot of pain
so yea, theyre mostly nuisances, not real threats
but rarely something truly dangerous shows up, so those nuisances can debuff enough that you can actually die
but they are all easy enough to avoid, you can actually entirely avoid the portal storm by just staying home and closing all doors and windows
but i still go out bc a portal to another place always spawns and if i go there and come back, i get a debuff of +6 to either str, dex or per for a few days
and its easy enough to do, just traverse a labyrinth
and the device the hub gave me requires that i carry it outdoors to collect data, so i must wander about for a while to get paid
so yea, portal storms arent that bad
except for one extremely annoying thing that happens
randomly ill have a vision/nightmare where my body is torn to shreds or something and a bunch of blood spawns around me
but it doesnt deal any damage
it just causes a lot of pain
and its entirely unavoidable
on the 3rd portal storm it happened enough times that my pain level got to over 1300
for reference, >200 is unbearable pain
it actually got all my stats to 0
and my speed to 25
so yea, i was fucked
bc i went out on my bike and i couldnt even ride it anymore
all i could do to avoid dying by the abominations that spawn during a storm was crawl inside a broken car and hunker down so nothing outside could see me and wait it out
that was actually the longest storm ever for some reason
it lasted like the whole day
while the other two storms only lasted a couple of hours or so
there are also other annoying events like when the sun goes dark
or the space around disappears and you cant move at all for a few seconds
or when you get constantly teleported back to where you just were
like i said, its all mostly annoying, but on the right circumstances its deadly
>lmao never thought that DDA would need to catch up with BNs additions lmfao
if i remember right, there was a gap of several years between version 0.F and 0.G
so they prolly already had that on experimental for a while

>do they have anything worth the trouble at least?
>like mutagens or CBMs?
fuck i actually typed the whole post and then my pc crashed before i could post it
so i typed that they have a shitload of shit mainly CBMs
the main lab guy (like the actual boss) has the most OP ones in his ass
you would need to dissect a human corpse though p big mood debuffs
forgot to add all of that
>but i still go out bc a portal to another place always spawns and if i go there and come back, i get a debuff of +6 to either str, dex or per for a few days
+6 fucking buff?
to str and dex too?
man that's fucking insane
>randomly ill have a vision/nightmare where my body is torn to shreds or something and a bunch of blood spawns around me
yeah to me this stuff happens all the time
i especially hate the dreams with insects
i don't even fear insects IRL but in dreams they make me extremely scared for some reason idk
>got caught by hyperdimensional fuckers
>that was actually the longest storm ever for some reason
probably because they have feasted on your soul or something
>so they prolly already had grid on experimental for a while
the grid was originally BNs invention
and it wasn't in DDA for half a year at least
so yeah DDA trannies were actually catching up with some shitty russian spoon

kill yourself

>so i typed that they have a shitload of shit mainly CBMs
cool, and i have heavy ballistic armor, a protective helmet, thermal goggles and the means to make smokebombs
ill just finish their quests and if they dont reward me with those juicy juicy implants, ill just take them
do they have an autodoc, at least?
hey, i can probably recruit their own mercenaries and use them against them lmfao
>you would need to dissect a human corpse though p big mood debuffs
lol i can wait for a few days
wont even need to stockpile food, i can just milk the cows lmao
>to str and dex too?
i said OR
you get one of 3 buffs
weakened gravity (+6 str)
weakened inertia (+6 dex)
warped senses or something like that i forgot the name (+6 per)
but yea, p good
>so yeah DDA trannies were actually catching up with some shitty russian spoon
yea ig even they need to make their game more playable from time to time

>i can probably recruit their own mercenaries and use them against them lmfao
you can recruit mercenaries?
>reward me with those juicy juicy implants
iirc they reward you with funny coins that you can spend on shit like EMP bombs and CBM implants
>>to str and dex too?
>i said OR
yeah i can fucking read
you don't get them simultaneously but they are still p OP

Self chat really is self chat

P37479
>100-100-30-50 test
lol.

To add some maybe somewhat better ideas to this absolute meme tier larp thread:
- learn to scavenge parts from trash by taking broken broken household appliances or other stuff you would be able to find in an apocalyptic scenario and try to build something useful from it, but without any electrical tools like soldering iron
- practice fasting, if you are not used to eating nothing for prolonged periods you will feel extremely sluggish
- learn to sail, it will be the best form of transport once again when fuel is gone

P37758
>you can recruit mercenaries?
yea one of them said hed follow me if i coughed up some sheckles
>iirc they reward you with funny coins that you can spend on shit like EMP bombs and CBM implants
yea they do
but i have yet to find CBMs for sale
and i check their shop everytime i get more coins

P37761
and dont forget learning archery
sure, its very shit compared to guns, but they are renewable and the best to deal with smoker and bloated zombies before you get a gas mask

>fuckton of textwall posts
idfc rn, will read later, maybe

P37761
>learn to sail, it will be the best form of transport
forgot about bikes?

>forgot about bikes?
bikes are fucking tiresome
ships are working on fucking wind lmao

P37912 tiresome






















































really is tiresome

P37920 Happy birthday E.A. Sothern!

P37912
Sure, but ships won't get you far if you're not near the sea.

P37574
very... what can I say?.. very indeed...
P37580
ma nigga just spoke facts and facts over facts plus facts times facts
tl;dr: facts
P37723
>hows your run going?
not done one yet, still lacking the necessary equipment and/or knowlege to do so, tho I'll def do one of those in the future, possibly when SHTF cuz lack of food or smth
P37733
>post your:
>>diet
shitty
>>weight
80kg - 191cm tall
>>how long your run
500m max (first 200m fast enough, then the rest 300m are 35% faster than my regular walking speed)

>spammy spam
>spammy spam

P37761
>To add some maybe somewhat better ideas
allright
>to this absolute meme tier larp thread:
fuck you too
>- learn to scavenge parts from trash yada yada, useful info
yup, agreed
>- practice fasting
agreed
>- learn to sail, it will be the best form of transport once again when fuel is gone
bikes, nigger, bikes, you don't use a boat on land, you use bikes on land ffs
P37784
>and dont forget learning archery
better use crossbows, uses basically the same materials as bows but aims very similarly to guns
even better: get an air rifle, when you get HPA and small metal BBs that you send at very high speeds at targets, making them from breathing to not breathing in a couple of moments (BBs are very easy to make once you got a machine to make them, just need some aluminium/steel/metal, put it in a press to give it the necessary shape, sand it down for ultrasmooth operation on the barrel (if you don't have a pellet air rifle that makes it ultra-air tight or smth like that) and boom, almost infinite ammo (still requires metal and air)
P37808
sure (didn't watch it lmfao)
P37912
they surely do be tiresome, otherwise they wouldn't be useful <insert dad joke image>
tho yeah, you need leg muscle, very useful leg muscle, or ye a faggot
P37922
yes indeed

> >>how long your run
> 500m max (first 200m fast enough, then the rest 300m are 35% faster than my regular walking speed)
wtf, that's pitiful. Do you handle riding a bike in non-flat terrain?
You should train your stamina before larping in /fight/.

P38015
I don't run, but the last time I needed to run, I did ~3km at a good and stable pace, because the public transport had left me a different part of town and I had an appointment to literally run to. And I didn't get *that* tired just awfully dehydrated. Something to keep in mind next time. Is that a good stamina to have? What's the distance you should be able to run at a stable running pace?

I don't want to larp (yet), but it's nice to be at least physically prepared if push comes to shove. Because that takes the longest in case a dire situation comes. You should be able to learn some essential skills in a few weeks, buy the equipment in a few days, learn some theory of apocalypse larping in maybe a few months max. But building a good physique seems like the thing that takes years to acquire if you are dealt bad cards.

And btw yes I go to the gym before you tell me to, 2x a week for now. And I've biked before a lot when I was younger. Flat terrain as well, but mostly uphill or downhill, often rather mountainous. I did in the magnitudes of 10s of kms but don't cite me on this, didn't get too tired. At least compared to the family members who weren't in their 20s coming along with me.

P38015
>wtf, that's pitiful.
ik
>Do you handle riding a bike in non-flat terrain?
very yes, I have a lot of power, i have litter stamina
even uphill with no wind, I get to max speed and I start revving up, which hurts my legs a fuckton

biking - moving legs (doesn't affect breathing)
running - moving whole body (affects breathing)

I was in a gym once [spoiler: ik, seems impossible, did it for a month, 2 days a week, just for shits and giggles to proove to myself that gym really is shitty] and I used the bike machine, and biked along with my friend; he would put the difficulty at 2-5 while I'd put it at 17-25 based on how tired I'd be just so my legs wouldn't hurt and would typically do a full 4min 30sec run (can't go lower or my legs would hurt from the rpm; got a fuckton of leg power compared to my stamina; if you'd call my leg power 100%, my stamina would be 15%)

>You should train your stamina before larping in /fight/.
I'm not larping, retard, I spread infomations, tips and such that may or may not help others

You do realize nobody believes you are the real 12of8 when you can't even get the numbers right.

P38012
>500m max (first 200m fast enough, then the rest 300m are 35% faster than my regular walking speed)
I thought my frame of reference might be biased since I never run, so I went measure myself. I ran 800m at twice my walking speed on average and I wasn't tired. P38015 is right, you suck.

P39059
>I never run
but I hover

So you're saying that if you do those things you won't die?

Has that worked for anyone so far?

P39142
Yes, worked for me. I only practiced the first one ("refuse to die") and so far, I haven't died. I must say this training is really efficient.

>>P39145

I suppose every method to stay alive has worked for everyone here.

P39146 alive really is alive.

Have any maggots bitten your face, while sleeping in coffin, today?

>even uphill with no wind, I get to max speed and I start revving up, which hurts my legs a fuckton
Be careful with that. I once fucked up a bike by not changing gears when going uphill. Nothing too bad, I just had to change the chainset and sprocket, but they could have lasted a couple more years had I been more careful.

P39142 forgot about
>Remember, this is but a simple idea of how one should do it, not a full tutorial.

you need more stuff to not die, these are just some ideas